29 and Counting

Yesterday was our 29 year anniversary!  Twenty nine years?  But it was only yesterday....or it just seems that way.  So much has happened as our lives and the years have moved at warp speed - two children, four cities, nine homes, celebrations, reunions, graduations, weddings, deaths and mostly new adventures.

When I stood in that garden 29 years ago wearing a white gown and veil , I never dreamed that I would be writing this (or anything!) sitting in a little house in the middle of the woods in the Pacific Northwest!  I have always been an urban creature - traffic, crowds, great shopping, restaurants and cultural offerings - which is why it is so surprising that I am here in the woods.  One of the shocking discoveries I made when we were first here was that is gets really DARK away from the city, where there is always ambient light from multiple sources - street lamps, billboards, cars, apartments, stores, offices - lots of light even after sunset.  Who knew that even the light in rural areas is so different?  I do...now.

Someone asked me the other day, what was the secret of a good marriage.  My immediate, flip answer was "Luck".  That's true, but the bigger answer is to keep talking...no matter what...no matter how furious, sad, speechless you are, you have to talk it out.  A very tough lesson for me to learn...when it comes to fight or flight, I will choose flight every time.  I will shut down and nurse my anger in silence.  Not a good idea in a marriage.  My darling husband is the one who taught me to talk and wouldn't let me  retreat into silence.  He would coax and cajole me to keep talking until we had talked out the issues, problems, fights.  And here we are 29 years later...still talking....mostly about the next adventure!

I think when I was a young bride, I thought there was something called the "Perfect Marriage".  What I have discovered in the intervening years is that there is no perfect.  We are all imperfect humans doing the best we can.  If you find that special someone, be kind, be understanding, be reasonable; know that we all have our flaws and we make mistakes;  forgive then kiss and make up.  We have an acronym we live by after a fight - WUTB - water under the bridge.  Let the anger go and wash down the river and don't go fishing for it again.  Kiss and make up....hug and love again.

My parents were married for 44 years and my husband's parents will celebrate their 68th year of marital success... so we have a way to go to catch up with them.  I can't wait for the next chapter, the next challenge, the next...whatever....as long as I have my life partner next to me holding my hand.

Here is a quote that was the Real Simple Daily Thought the other day that sums it up for me.....

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

― Mignon McLaughlin

Almost Done!

We are making real progress at the Cabin House!  We are moving all of our "stuff" out of storage next week!  Things I haven't seen since December '08!  Unpacking will be a little like Christmas.

I am just going to post a bunch of progress photos and write more later.....

Picking out granite at the warehouse.  A cabinet door is on the lower left.  Not an easy process - way too many choices!

Granite installation.  I was really nervous about how it would look but the fabricators worked their magic and I love it!

Another view of the kitchen...I think I might have enough counter space in this kitchen

Me riding on the air sled which is used to move heavy equipment using air pressure.  Kowabunga! 

Me planting veggies in the garden!  Whodathunk?

Farmer Hille tending the crops!

My family in Japan is OK

Thanks to everyone who telephoned and e-mailed to see if my family in Japan was affected by the devastating earthquake and tsunami.  I am delighted to report that my family is fine - they live far from the quake's epicenter but they have been feeling some of the aftershocks which can be quite pronounced.

Ironically, we didn't have telephone or the Internet on Friday because a construction crew had cut a fiber optic cable,  so just when I was trying to contact Japan, our Seattle technology failed us!  Once service was restored, I kept calling but got the Japanese equivalent of "all circuits are busy, please try your call again" and I did keep trying until Saturday afternoon when I finally got through to my aunt and my cousins.

My aunt assured me that our family was fine.  One of my cousins has a married daughter who lives in Sendai but that she and her family had been out of town when the quake hit.  They are fine but they cannot get back home or find out if their house is even standing!  There is no telling how long it will take to recover from the devastation.

Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers.  I will keep you posted as I get news from Japan.

More construction pics

Things are moving right along!  Every time we come out to the house, there are great changes!  Here are a few from last week.


 New French doors - interior view                                                   Exterior view

I love these new doors - they let in so much light and we can now see out into the garden.

Here's a view of the new living space.                                           A kitchen view - ready for cabinets.

It is so exciting to see all the work that is being done.  Huge progress.  Soon it will be time to put the new cabinets in the kitchen.  They are patiently waiting in the garage and I am impatiently waiting in Seattle!  Hopefully my next post will include cabinet pics!

Construction Update

The renovation of the Cabin House has begun!  It's one thing to talk about a project conceptually and quite another to see the walls and things actually come down!  We have a great contractor who understands that I don't speak "contractor"....it's an entirely different language!  Smurfs to me are little blue cartoon characters....who knew they are blue tubes through which wires and things are channeled through the walls.  So when the electrician says he'll just smurf those wires, I now know what he's talking about!!!  

Pictures show the progress much better than I can describe it as my "contractor-ese" is still not fully fluent!

Here are some before pics of our house....

Kitchen

 

 Staircase and pantry...the cheetah print carpet and electric green walls - yikes!

 Family room fireplace - note the wall on the right....

 View from the living room to the family room...the doorway on the right is an enormous powder room

Here are some after demolition pics:

Same view of the kitchen but without the cabinets and appliances!

Now the living room and family are combined into one big living space...the powder room is now in the front hall.

The pantry and front hall closet have been removed and will become the powder room and reconfigured pantry minus the green walls!

This is our progress to date....will post more as changes occur!   During our last meeting, the contractor told us we are ahead of schedule and under budget....didn't I tell you he was great!  More pictures soon!

Sisters

 I am an only child and I have sisters.  Not sisters that share my DNA but who occupy a special place in my heart.  The last several months have been incredibly stressful. My sisters have pulled me through the last several, trying months, when life’s circumstances threatened to overwhelm me.  Whenever I felt alone and weary, one of their voices would reach out and comfort me…to let me let me cry and to make me laugh and to let me know I had someone on my side....someone watching my back.

After losing my mother early last year, all of the decisions and responsibilities fell to me – the only child.  Clearing out my late mother’s apartment was one of the final responsibilities.  It was a job I was dreading - going through years of accumulation and memories.  I had already made two trips from my home 2000 miles away, each time each time sorting, discarding and donating piles of items… and there was still an unbelievable amount of work to do.  It seemed like a never ending chore.  

 On my third trip, as I traveled across the country to my mother’s condo, my connecting flight was cancelled.  My Chicago sister came to pick me up in the middle of a snowstorm.  I could have easily stayed in a hotel but she wouldn’t hear of it.  “Of course I’m coming, you’re my sister, you know.”  We had a wonderful visit and I was glad that the snowstorm had delayed me.  I was much more relaxed and ready to tackle what lay ahead.

When I finally made it to my mother's condo, another sister insisted on driving six hours again through winter weather to come help me.   I felt swamped but it was my responsibility.  I told her that it didn’t seem right that I impose that burden on anyone else.  She would have none of it.  “I’m coming and we're going to get it done.  It’s what sisters do.”

 As we began the arduous process of clearing and cleaning out, another sister came by.  “I like to clean stuff out, as long it’s not my own,” she declared.  Her assertion that she was great at spatial relations proved itself as she packed box after box with exacting precision.  The apartment was slowly emptying out.  Perhaps this would be the final push.  

There were sisters who came by with treats and morale support...the sisters who met us for dinner when we needed an escape.  They made us laugh and forget the boxes and chaos we left behind.  And there were the out of town sisters who called in their love and support.   All of my sisters played a vital role in this house clearing drama.  They kept me sane and constantly reminded me that I was not alone.

And then it was done.  The movers came and loaded the truck that would take the cartons that were filled with parts of my history across the mountains to my new home.  The charities came and took what was left.  The only things that remained were the dimples in the carpet where furniture had once stood.  The apartment was empty, ready for it’s new owners and a new life.

I am closing a chapter in my life and beginning a new one – one filled with the love and strength that comes from having sisters.  I am no longer an “only” – I have sisters!  My sisters came to my rescue and thank you seems so inadequate to express how grateful I am to have them in my life.  Heartfelt thanks to all of my sisters….you know who you are…I love you…I am such a lucky girl.

Our Little Cabin in the Woods

We have a new nest!  After months of looking and looking and looking at houses, we are going to have to find something else to do on Sundays – chores!  We are again homeowners. 

For the last two years, we have rented a condo on the thirty-first floor of a high rise looking for the right house.   Seattle is new to both of us.  I had never even been through the airport until we flew in to make this our new home.  Looking for houses was a great way to see neighborhoods and learn the city.  But we couldn’t find the right house. 

Then one weekend, friends invited us to their home on Vashon Island - a twenty- minute ferry ride across Puget Sound.  It was an idyllic place.  Island living Pacific Northwest style!  We began to look for houses on the island.  Then someone mentioned Bainbridge Island as another possibility.  More choices.

Every weekend we were on a ferry to one island or another.  We had two terrific agents who showed us dozens of properties.  But nothing clicked. 

“What about building a house?” someone asked. 

“No thanks, I like being married,” was my stock answer.  Building a house seemed like a daunting, stressful project.  Yet, we agreed to look at building lots. 

We went to the first piece of property.  It was dense forest, wild – I couldn’t even envision where a house would go.  Clearly this was not going to work.

“There’s a house at the end of this road that’s on the market, and it’s vacant and on lock box,” our agent’s assistant told us.  “Want to see it?”

What did we have to lose?  So we continued down the road.  And there it was – a two story house, a two car garage with an apartment above it and the best part – a little log cabin just my size.   

No one had live there for months.  The yard was unkempt and overgrown; there was moss growing on the roof; a grapevine was taking over part of the deck.  The house was suffering from neglect but somehow it felt right.  We both felt it.  This could be our new home.  I nickname all the houses we like and this one became the “Cabin House.”

Five months and a lot of drama later, it is now ours.  We have a lot of work ahead but we are going to make it our own.  A new kitchen, moving a powder room, painting, and a lot of deferred maintenance.   We can’t wait to get started!  I’ll keep you posted on our progress!

Thanks to our terrific real estate agent and his wonderful assistant;  thanks to everyone at the bank and title company who fought numerous battles on our behalf; and special thanks to all my gal pals who supported me through this long, crazy path to home ownership.  Now, the adventure begins!